A Real, Honest, and Practical Guide to Finding Peace
Conflict is an inevitable part of life. Whether it’s a clash with a friend, a disagreement with a colleague, or tension within your family, no one escapes the occasional storm of human relationships. But here’s the thing: conflict doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship. It’s possible to handle disagreements in a way that feels authentic, fair, and ultimately healing for everyone involved.
Let’s dive into a step-by-step guide on dealing with conflict, balancing “your truth” and “their truth,” and finding resolution or peace—whether that’s through compromise or moving on with grace.
Step 1: Acknowledge “Your Truth” and “Their Truth”
Why it matters: Conflict often stems from differing perspectives. Everyone sees the world through their own unique lens, shaped by experiences, values, and emotions.
How to do it:
- Validate your feelings while remaining open to theirs. Say things like, “I see it this way, but I’d like to understand how you see it.”
- Avoid the trap of “who’s right” and focus on understanding each other’s viewpoint.
Pro tip: Active listening is key. Listen to understand, not to rebut.
Step 2: Communicate Honestly (But Gently)
Why it matters: Open communication paves the way for understanding, but how you communicate can make or break the outcome.
How to do it:
- Use “I” statements to express yourself. For example: “I felt hurt when you said X” instead of “You always hurt me!”
- Be clear about your needs without being confrontational.
Pro tip: Stay calm, even if emotions run high. A composed tone encourages the same in return.
Step 3: Find the Middle Ground
Why it matters: Compromise is often the key to resolution. It’s not about one person winning—it’s about finding a solution that works for both sides.
How to do it:
- Collaborate to brainstorm solutions. Ask, “What can we do together to fix this?”
- Be willing to meet halfway.
Pro tip: Small concessions on both sides can lead to big progress.
Step 4: When Compromise Isn’t Possible, Let Go and Let God
Why it matters: Not all conflicts can be resolved, especially when they involve deep personal value clashes.
How to do it:
- Practice forgiveness—not to excuse bad behaviour, but to free yourself from lingering resentment.
- Let go of the need to “win” and trust that peace will come through acceptance.
Pro tip: Forgiveness is for you, not them. It allows you to move forward without carrying the weight of the conflict.
Step 5: Know When to Walk Away
Why it matters: Some relationships are more draining than they are fulfilling. In such cases, creating distance can be the healthiest choice.
How to do it:
- Set boundaries while remaining polite and cordial.
- Accept that not all relationships are meant to be close or long-lasting.
Pro tip: This doesn’t apply to parent-child relationships or marriages, except in cases of infidelity or abuse. In those situations, prioritising safety and well-being is non-negotiable.
Special Note on Marriage and Parent-Child Relationships
- Marriage: While conflict is normal, separation should only be considered in cases of infidelity or any form of abuse. For other challenges, seek help through communication, counselling, and commitment.
- Parent-Child Relationships: These are lifelong bonds that deserve extra effort. Seek healing and understanding wherever possible.
Final Thoughts and a Call to Action
Conflict is never easy, but it can be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and even deeper connections. Whether you’re working through a disagreement, letting go of unresolved tension, or learning to set healthy boundaries, the goal is always peace—for yourself and those around you.
Sometimes, navigating conflict requires a little extra support. If you’re feeling stuck or unsure how to move forward, I’m here to help. Let’s work together to find clarity, healing, and actionable solutions tailored to your situation.
👉 Visit www.annelize.co.za to learn more about my counselling and coaching services. If you have questions or would like to book a session, don’t hesitate to reach out—I’d love to guide you on your journey to peace and fulfillment.
You don’t have to face conflict alone. Let’s turn challenges into stepping stones for a happier, more harmonious life.
